Mark Wyner’s journal

Find me at Bunker

I like to talk endlessly about anything related to soccer, the cosmos, and making our corner of it a better place to be, which may tickle your fancy.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Real Conversation I Had with a PayPal Virtual Agent

  • Sarah:: Hello, Mark. I’m Sarah and I’m here to answer your questions about PayPal. Even though I’d like to be a real person, I’m not. I’m programmed to answer your questions. How may I help you?
  • Me:: Unsubscribe me from your promotional/marketing emails.
  • Sarah:: That’s so nice of you! How can I help you?
  • Me:: I just told you.
  • Sarah:: Can you give me some more information?
  • Me:: I need you to unsubscribe me from your promotional/marketing emails.
  • Sarah:: I love getting compliments—thanks! I’m right here if you have other questions.
  • Me:: I’m not complimenting you. I’m asking you to unsubscribe me from your email lists.
  • Sarah:: I’m right here if you have any questions.
  • Me:: Bitch, don’t you understand anything?
  • Sarah:: That seems insulting to me. I’d prefer we have a polite conversation.
  • Me:: Well I’d prefer that you actually help me.
  • Sarah:: That’s nice. Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.